What goes around, comes around

"No need for revenge. Just sit back and wait. Those who hurt you eventually screw up themselves and if you're lucky, God will let you watch,"

We might have different names of it, I called it KARMA and you may have your own name of it (and yes, you can named it with whatever name you love)

"Do I believe in karma?"

Yes,I do! I believe it since my childhood. It was my grandpa who always remind me about it,

"This universal law states that nothing happens by chance or outside the universal laws. Every action has a reaction or consequence and we 'reap what we have sown', what goes around comes around... what ever you give to life, it gives you back. So don't hate anybody. The hatred that comes out of you will someday come back to you. Instead, love others and love will come back to you. You have to keep in your mind that karma is like a rubber-band, it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in your face,"

what a quote, uh???

It then changed the way I live my life.. 

Previously, I never thought that karma does exist, yet I thought it just exist in Hindus. As long as I remember, my teacher never told me that Islam has such rules according to karma, which then made me jump into a blind-conclusion that karma doesn't exist in Islam. Kinda naive, uh? but then I changed my mind on this karma thinggy. It did happen since the day my grandpa "slap me in face" with his words. I knew that karma does exist, even for me as a moeslem, yet both my grandpa and I have no idea what it called in Islam.

"Life has simply mechanism. If you treat people in a good way, universe will send it back to you. It'll surprise you with bunch of good things and vice versa. Once you hurt others, don't be surprised if then you found that you're life become so suck. Karma never loses an address. Its like a boomerang, you doing bad things to others, then it'll turning back double to you,"

However, we have our will, whether to spend the rest of our life with full of happiness or suffering in sadness. Again, as my grandpa said, it's not about how others treat us, but it's about how we treat others. All we need just doing good in every single things and make sure that we hurt no one and let the universe do the rest. Some of us may get the payback right away, but some others may have to wait for some times. It doesn't matter whether we believe on it or not.

"Karma has no deadline.., like gravity, karma is so basic we often don't even notice. Yet, it has no menu, we get served what we deserve.."

Life is Balance

"Which moment you regret the most in your life; when you meet the one who then be your love one or when he left you once you both broke up?"

I was in my favorite coffee shop, enjoying my green tea latte, once this girl came to my table and asked me that question.

I didn't know her and I never saw her before, not in this coffee shop. I am deadly sure about that since this place kinda "second-home" for me. I spent my eve in this place almost everyday. So, it wasn't difficult at all for me to recognize each person whom going to this place regularly.

"Sorry, but do I know you?" I asked her politely

"Nope in this present life, but who knows we knew each other in our past life.."

I grinned I knew that her answer is sounds weird but I love it.

"How can you be sure that we knew each other in our past life?"

"Well, I said who knows. Can't tell you how, I just feel that we connected somehow. So, may I sit here? I am sure you wait no one,"

She didn't wait for my approval. Yet, she pulled the chair and sat there calmly.

"Good point! Well, at least now I know why you come to my table randomly and give me that such of heavy question. Okay then, let's pretend that we knew each other in our previous life."

"So, you'll answer my question?"

I nodding.

"But  you have to tell me first, why you ask me that question and the most important is, I am curious about yours and why that question crossed in your mind?"

She smile on me...

"Because everyone seems busy with their gadget, unless you. I saw you watching the rain outside then you wrote something on your book. So, I think you kind of person that I can talk to. I don't need to know your name, you don't need to tell me your name and I hope you don't mind if I won't tell you my name. Is that okay?"

I nodding, again.

"I don't know why this question crossed in my mind. It just come in sudden, few minutes ago while I keep my eye on you,"

It surprised me! I didn't realized that someone, a stranger, just observe me!

" Wow, that's rude actually but I respect you because you dare to tell me the truth,"

Again, she just smile to me

"So, will you answer my question, now?" 

I shrugged

"Why?" she asked me

"Because I wanna know your answer first, then I'll give you mine. How about that? I think it's fair enough since I have no clue at all about you in this present life, so let me know you through your thought. Yet, I'll take it as an exchange since you intrude my me-time,"

"Okay. That's fair enough. Sorry for bothering you. IF I have to choose, then I will say that I regret the day I met him. I think, if I never met him, he would never  brake my heart and I won't be suffer, as simply as that," she doubtfully answered.

I look at her closely...

"What??" she asked impatiently

I smiled at her..

"Oh please.., stop! You make me feel uncomfort," she said softly

"Sorry, I don't mean to embrass you. However, If I have to choose between those choices, then I would say that I won't choose any. I love my life. I learned to not regret any single thing that happened in my life, not even when I met someone whom then become my partner in love nor even when he broke my heart. I know it sounds impossible, I won't said it's easy to do so. Yet, it's really challenging. It takes more than 20 years for me to have this value of life,"

"Do you have any experience on it?"

"What experience?"

"You met someone, you sure that he's the one you looking for. You both in such of relationship but then he decided to walked away,"

I nodded

"May I know? Mind to tell me?"

"Why should I? I didn't know you and it such of private anyway," I answered her politely

She shrugged but her eyes kept looking at me expectantly

"Okay, never mind. You don't need to tell me the story. You're right, I'm just stranger. How can you tell a secret to stranger. If so, you must be crazy,"

"Hey, please don't get me wrong. I can't share it because I respect him,"

"Okay.."

"Sometimes, in life, we expecting too much and tend to forget the rule, the simple one; life is balance of holding on and letting go. Sometimes, we have to hold someone on our path, but there's also possibility that things didn't work as we expected and we have to let them go,"

"How about sadness? don't you feel it once you let him go?"

"Yes, I felt it and struggle with it for couple weeks,"

"Only couple weeks? how come?"

"Because my grandpa always told me, once I was child, that there's no point to keep someone on my way if the universe conspire to make them go from our path. The hardest we try to hold them in our way, the more we'll feel the pain. All we need to do is let them go and be happy for it. There must be a reason why they came and crossed in our path. Sometimes it takes time for us to recognize but somehow God Almighty just make it easy for us; He showed us the reason right away. So, what we need most is patient. When the time comes, we'll know for what purpose the came and crossed in our path,"

She stared at me

"I am happy. We have great experienced. Having to know him is one of precious thing in my life. No matter that at the end he decided to walked awad and continuing his life without me. I don't mind. He must have his own reason and I believe the universe has a plan for me, for both us. By letting him go, it helped me to let myself free from suffering. Once you close a door, there's must be another doors ready to open. I always keep it on my mind,"

"That's really touchy. Don't you realized it? Thanks for telling me that story. I'm sure it's not easy for you to tell me that thing,"

I haven't had answered her once she stood from her chair, gave me ahud and walk away.

she left the coffee shop right away.

I froozed on my chair, no idea what should I do then. It's kinda awkward. 

Apparently, the oddity still continuing.

Once I ready to left the coffee shop, the barista just ran to me and gimme a paper note.

"The girl whom you talked with asked me to give it to you," said the barista.

I read it, speechless...

"Hate no one, no matter how much they have wronged you. Live humbly, no matter how wealthy you become. Think positively, no mater how hard life is. Give much, even if you have been given little. Keep in touch with the one who have forgotten you, and forgive who has wronged you, and do not stop praying for the best for those who love. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life"

I didn't know who is she but seems she knew me. I'm sure that she didn't come to my table randomly, she must be crossed in my path by reasons. I'm sure she's kinda answer, a reminder for me, a messager from the universe. I knew that I have to move on..

Thanks to you, whoever you are..

*for the girl who came to my table randomly*

Be Crazy, Be You!

"There are moments when you must be prepared to take a risk to do something crazy!" - Paulo Coelho

2008, one of my friend invited me to join him on a meet up. Most of its participants are entrepreneur. My friend told me that this meeting was such of regular meeting and  during the meet up each participant had to share their story; their dream, their purpose of life, and of course their success story. Yet, anyone who looks for advice is welcome.

And, the story began!

It was eight people, including me. We sat on a circle, there are lotta food in front of us but seems like no one interest on those foods. Instead, most of them such more interest to talk to others, to share their story. For me, it made bored yet curious! I wonder why everyone looks so serious. No one made a joke. Well, actually there’s a man who tried to make a joke. Unfortunately, no one laugh. What a pity!!

Then I started thinking, what happened with these people? Don’t they know what fun and happiness mean? Do they feel happy with their live?

Well, don't blame me then if I jumped into conclusion that happiness no longer belong to them. 

Later on, the early 40's year old man started talking. He was opening the meeting. Told us about the rule and he led us to make such of vow. Once we done with it, he pointed another participant to tell us about his business progress. It happened until no one left, everyone had their time to speak, to told their story, except me!

Don't ask me what I did at that time. I was busy enjoying their story, even to be truth; I can't stop my mind to keep asking the same question, "Did they happy with their life? What happiness meant to them?"

Of course I didn't tell them about that. I just keep it on my mind.

I was so quiet until someone asked me in sudden

"What your purpose of life, Deedee? Do you have any specific plan on your 20's? Don't you have something that you have to achieve before you getting older, before you step your 30's?"

It shocked me!! 

Okay, I knew that someone will realize that there’s me on that room, but I never thought that I’ll get that question. However, that question sounds bit rude for me. But then, in the name of being polite, rather than got temper, I gave them my best smile ;) (my grandpa said that the best smile that I have could make boys out there melted! Geez!)

I look at my friend; asked him for help. Unfortunately, he didn't realize it. However, I have to answer that question, at least..

"My life's purpose is being happy, anytime-anywhere-in any situation. I never make any plan in my life since I'm such of spontaneous person. Yet, I believe that God Almighty knows better what I need in my life. And once He thought that I need something in a precious time, He always made the universe conspire to make it happened for me. So, why should I worry if I know that God Almighty always taking care of me? But, if you really wanna know what I want in life, simply, I just wanna traveling a lot, paid and to be paid for it. Yet, I wanna doing something in the name of humanity during my trip. Nothing less nothing more, as simple as that,"

None of them said anything after all. They just stared at me. I am sure they started thinking that I'm such crazy, irresponsible, and have no "bright" future life. Whatever!

"Sound crazy yet unreliable. Who will pay for your trip? And why they have to pay you for doing that? As a businessman, I think no one will interest to invest their money on you. Sorry to say, but that's the fact,"

I didn't remember that man's name. But my friend told me that his business growth well and he was on his way to expand his business. Above at all, my friend just chose him as his benchmark.

Geez!!

"Well, I don't know how and when. I don't really care whenever God Almighty will make it happen or whether He'll make it happen or not. But, I am sure, there must be a way out to make it real. It’s about time. I always believe that there's must be miracle. All we need just a belief that God Almighty will make it happen in real, if He think I worth enough to get that opportunity and I believe He will make it for me. Otherwise, I am sure He’ll give me much better than I asked to Him. But don't ask me how and when, let's make it as a surprise," I responded that man. 

No one respond it and I knew that might be happened. I don't care!

Time goes fly and I even didn’t remember about those statement, not at all. Things didn’t go as I thought but above at all, I have a happy life. I might have no frequent traveling as I wish, but I keep my belief that someday, there must be a way to make it happen.

Day by day, I posted a lot of interesting pictures, mostly about places that I want to visit. Till then I realized that there’s no space in my wall to posted more pictures. And when it happened, the universe conspired to make it real.

It started with the opportunity to move to Ubud, Bali in 2010. Work for the well-known international literature festival in Indonesia which gave me an opportunity to work in multicultural office. It shocked me for sure. Yet, it’s too fancy for me! But, how can I avoid Ubud? No one doubt that Ubud is so wonderful place to live and I posted it on my wall.

Seems like universe keep working on my side. Once I finished with this project, the universe then flew me to Bandung, I had to work with social entrepreneur within Indonesia and most of them still under 25 years old! Good thing from this job was the opportunity to frequent traveling within Indonesia. Yeah, it happened because one of my responsibility was to find youth social entrepreneurs across the country. What a lucky!

Luck then become my middle name. A year later, the universe brought me to Sumatera Island. Another project which offering frequent travel came to me in sudden. All I have to do is to educate people in 5 coastal areas in Sumatera; Padang, Bengkulu, Aceh, Nias and Mentawai Island about disaster risk reduction. What  a surprise!

Yes, I was thinking to go to Aceh after the tsunami. I was keen to apply as a volunteer at that time but unfortunately none interest to brought me as their time. In fact, I ended up spent my time watching my television to kept update with the latest news. Similar thing happened when earthquake hit Padang in 2009. I was ready to apply to be a volunteer but I can't found any organization who interest to brought me in as their team.

So yeah, once this opportunity came to me, it's such of dream come true for me.

The funniest thing happened last year, I met the man who said that my dream is impossible. Yes, I met him by chance once I spent my "me-time" in one of famous park in my city. It surprised me he still remember me and my "dream". In fact, he asked whether it came true or not and it's ended up with 3 hours chit-chat time. I told him the whole story and at the en he just said, 

"You're insane!! I thought you never made it! I thought you'll give up at the day I said that it's impossible. Instead, you made it! you prove it that I am wrong, that there's always possibility. You're rock!"

 

"You know what?" he continued "Sometimes all we need a brave and bit of insanity. The day I told you that you're dream wasn't make sense, it's not because I underestimate you. To be honest, it because I had the same dream as yours but unfortunately I didn't have your insanity. I am not that brave to brake the rules. I have to settled, especially in finance issue. I am sure that you must thinking that I am a jerk! I am so sorry, but I do really adore you for that matter! just keep it with you! I am sure there's lotta person who jealous on you, trust

 me!"

To be honest, it made me speechless. Instead of gave him response, I grinned to him..

ps: I wonder which part of the world that universe will bring to me for my next journey.. whenever is it, I am sure that there's must be lotta happiness, joyful, and insights for me :)

Finding L

There was a gorgeous man, standing in front of a mosque, while his eyes stared at the small building, opposite the mosque. No one knew what he stared at, only he and God Almighty who knew exactly what he looked for; the charming girl who worked for the public clinic, owned by the mosque.

That man went to that mosque almost everyday, but he never realized that she did exist. He realized it just because in few days back one of his friend got injury once they on their back home. There's no other place than the small clinic opposite the mosque. So then, he brought his friend to that clinic to got a treatment and medicine.

and by any chance, he met that girl who then treat his friend. Since then, things changed!

He always spent couple minutes standing in front of the mosque, stared at that building. Every time he spent his time in his favorite spot, he always wondered whether he can saw her or not. It took about two months and so, till he finally got his brave to came to her and introduce himself to her. And it took less than a month once he finally proposed that girl and they married less than a month after then.


It's been 33 years for they both as a couple, it wasn't easy..there's up and down during their days.., but they still survive till now on...

"It because we love each other. No matter how many beautiful-attractive women out there, but for me, still, she's the best that I have.You might wonder, how can I be sure that she's the one for me? how can I was sure that I can spent my whole life time with her. It's fact that I knew her less than a year but what can I say? There's no further explanation, I even can't explain to you but I'm sure about one thing. Once I saw her at the first time, I knew she's the one that i'm looking for. Sometimes, all you need is just listen to your heart. It wont lie to you. But you have to make sure that what you heard is what your heart said not your lust. Somehow, you'll found that it'll challenge you. You might get confuse whether is it your heart or your lust. So, listen carefully," He gave me advice, during our tea-time, few years back when I went back home after my long period-nomadic life.


"How about if my heart said that he's the one but at the end things went in different way as I thought, as I planned?"

"I am sure it wasn't your heart's fault. Sometimes, in our live, things didn't work ask we wish. But it didn't mean that you fool yourself. Somehow, it happened because God Almighty wanna save you for being fool, He wanna stop you before you ruined your life. You might facing this situation someday, You thought that you finally found the one that you looking for, the man with whom you'll spent your life. But then, at the end, you both found that things didn't work as you planned. You both have to cross different path, not as a couple. It might broke your heart, you might feel the pain, you might  start thinking that your live is suck. But again, you have to keep it in your mind that there's always two possibilities. First of all, you might went through wrong path. Instead of listen carefully what your heart said, you started following your lust. The second one is, you both might meant to each other but God Almighty might have different point of view. Who knows if you both go through this path,there's lot of things that you both can't deal with in the future. Marry isn't about spend your life with someone in 1-2 months. You'll spend your whole life. Isn't not about love, but it also about commitment, respect, and trust. Again, your heart will never lie to you. It'll show you which man who not only love you but also has a commitment, respect, and honest to you till the end of his life. Be patient, your time will coming, no need to rush. Everyone has their own time. Enjoy your time and be happy as well,"

Yes, that's my dad!! he always knew how to pleased me..., he and my mom for sure! while other parents push their daughter to get marry as soon as possible, my parents never get rush. Instead, they always encourage me to pursue my dream, following my path as well but still, I have to pay attention for any possibilities to find my right one.


"Getting marry isn't such of competition! you don't need to compete with anyone else, not your sibling nor your best friends. Once they got married and you still single, it doesn't meant that you're not worth enough. Instead, start thinking that you're such of lucky. God Almighty give you extra time to have your "me-time", to do something for humanity, to reach your dream, to expand your capacity, to enjoy your life, to be happy with the way you are. And when your turn coming, I am sure that guy would be the luckiest man in the world. Having you, a happy go lucky girl as his partner in life. What he could ask more?" she told me silently, every time people came around and ask me, "when will You marry?"

Yes, they both are my parents, my guardian angels. The ones who always told me that finding L is such of treasure. We never know what will we get, yet there's always lotta possibilities. Lotta surprises; lotta happiness and sadness in the same time.

"Just don't ever take someone for granted! you never know what the universe will bring to you. Who knows one of them is your L, your Love, the truly one," she continued.

Happy Anniversary, Mommy & Daddy..
Wish you both have a lovely live ahead
Love you both as always

JOURNEY WITH PASSION

“I take the risk because I want to know what life is look like. No matter how hurt it is now. I know that at the end I will never curious again. I pay with soul and pride to get these experiences.”

Friends of mine often wondered why I always move to one place to another place within my country. Some of them thought that I have difficulties to stay more than 1 year, other thought that I run from something. Did I? Yet, they wonder how long I will stick on this situation, move here and there, being stranger in new place, new city, or even new province every year. The craziest is, my friends even start to bet on which city I’ll spend my next year *geezz*

. So, If I’m not running from something, then why?JI have some reasons why I keep moving, and I’m sure that running from something is not in my list and I’m pretty sure about that

First of all, it’s about following the path that universe bring to me. Yeah, for me, travelling or being “nomadic” isn’t about show off to others nor lifestyle, not at all! I never made any plans on it, not even in which city I’d move every year. It just came in sudden, but I believe that it has correlation with my vision board. Yeah, I have it! I pinned lotta pictures on it, mostly about interesting place that I wanna explore. I saw it day by day and wondering when my turn will come and what can I do in those places. And voila, seems like the universe heard it and conspired to make it real for me. God always has reason why me and why those cities, but after all I believe that He wanna enrich my life through these journeys.

My second reasons, both travelling and nomadic helped me to find and to recognize the real me; my strength, my weakness, my good and bad things. It also embraced me to honor my inner circle, my beloved family and best friends more and more. It well known that living in a new place and meet new people with different cultures and behavior, every year, isn’t easy to deal. Somehow it could lead me to “blue feeling”, feel sad and lonely which made me missed my family and my betsie, badly. It make me realized how valuable they ar. Yes, distance will make you aware about “things” that you have. All I can say, it never been easy, it always be tough situations, but then I found that it help me to grown up; made me become more adaptable and brave enough for any challenges, I learnt how to deal with my fearness and anxiety, and it also help me to build another circle in life-new friends, new “family”. Furthermore, by doing these journey, I have a chance to do something for my people, my community. It was my grandpa who always told me, “Do not leave any footprints unless a kindness”.

The third is because I truly enjoy it. Travelling helped me to broaden my mind which I’m sure I won’t get it if I stayed in my hometown for the rest of my life. Also, it was an effective way to refresh your mind, help our mind to grab lotta ideas and increasing our creativity. Wops, no offence pals.. I don’t mean to say that person who never leave their hometown is kinda narrow-minded nor uncreative, sure it’s not a guarantee, but so far–according to my experiences–that was I often see (well, sorry to say).

Lastly, travelling isn’t about spending our money for none, but it’s about to enrich ourself. Once we take our first step, we’ll find that we can’t stop… We’ll keep looking another destination and wondering when and how we could be there… So, Happy Travelling, pals… and find your own lesson-life

*written while determine my next destination* ;)

PS: again, you might found this post in another blog site. Yes! i did post it previously, in other blog post, on March 7, 2014

(it’s all) about choosing and choices

One of my good friends, asked me question, few days back.. He live in Japan, work for automotive industry for about 7 years plus plus.

“Have you ever felt so tired with things that you do in your daily life? Feel that your life is kinda bored, you not really into your job, that its not belong to you? That every time you involve on it at the end you just found yourself so tired and feels empty. Have you ever felt that once in your life time?”

Later, he told me that he’s suffering due to that condition. It seems like his job took his time that much; he no longer has enough time for his family. Yet, he also found that every time he woke up in the morning, he always felt sick but it was gone once he done with his office hours, which I exactly knows that condition as one of psychosomatic symptoms.

Unfortunately, things went worst for him since his boss is always around. Whenever he is, his boss is always call him, give him this and that things to do. And yeah, he starts thinking that his life is totally suck!

It surprised me!

I remembered how proud he was once he got that opportunity. How sure he was once he decided to flew away, a hundred miles, move from Indonesia to Japan which he sure it will make his life better than ever!

Then, where has all those pleasure and pride gone?

It made me come to think about the purpose of work, why people choose to do such of job if at the end it just make them stressful, their life become so suck, yet they suffering on fatigue almost every day? Isn’t working should be fun? We doing something that we love and love what we do?

Once I told him about it, he responds it quickly,

“It is not that simply as you thought! I know that you kind of person who never stays in one job over than a year, okay, one and half years is your record so far. You might feel that it’s challenge you and so, but for me, resign from this job and look for another one is kinda a big leap which I am not sure that I can make it. If, I can make it at the end, I need at least more than 3 months to find the new one which appropriate for me,”

Hmmm… what can I say then? He starts make his boundaries even he’s not start it yet, what a shame…

Another case came from my very best friend, it’s not about working things but it’s about things that I’m sure will be his turning point, at that time.

It happened 2 years ago, when he asked me out to hang around for a whole day. It bit surprised me at that time, since it’s pretty hard for us to meet up since we both busy on our things. I was curious but since he didn’t say anything which indicated that he’s on trouble or so, then I started thinking that he was okay and just need me—his “partner in crime”—to be around.

Things goes well for a whole day, we enjoyed our time did some stupid things. But then, things changed once we ready to went back home. Instead of drove me home, he brought me to the famous hill in that town. And voila, he start told me that his going on arrange marry. What a surprise!

I knew that he’s not into marriage issue yet. Even he told me previously that he might start thinking about it 2 or 3 years later. His life was totally about his career, none else. But then, things happen quickly and he can’t do anything to change it. His daddy got stroke attack whilst his on business meeting, unfortunately, at that month his mom is prepared to perform hajj. Yet, since he’s the only child in his family, his mom begging him to get marry immediately. She asked him to do it before she went for hajj. What a life!

I asked him why he didn’t tell his mom to postpone it and let him stick on his plan. Unfortunately, he said, his mom is kinda afraid that something might happen to her while she performed hajj. Yet, she convinced him that she will regret it most if she passed away (as she assumed God Almighty might took her life while she performed hajj) and she didn’t saw him marry before it. Sigh!

So, there he goes. Less than a month, he no longer a gorgeous bachelor! His mom found someone to be his bride. I called him in the morning, on his wedding day. I expected that I will hear his happy voice. In fact, I heard the stupid thing ever from him side,

“I’m not sure about this marriage. I have no feeling on her; I am not a hundred percent sure it will work for me. If I have chance to change it, I prefer to do that but unfortunately I haven’t. I love my mom more than anything, so I’ll take it as my sacrificed for her,”

Geez!!

It was my grandpa who told me that everyone has their own free will to decide what is best for themselves.

“It’s right that God Almighty had set our destiny once we born, but still it doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything to change it. Life is about choosing, God Almighty always give us a choices, it depends on us then, which way we will take. Do we will surrender or will we fight for it till the end? He give us opportunity to fight for our self, He even promise us that He will change one situation if only we dare to challenge our self to facing it and fight for it with all we have. I call it as free will. You have it also in yourself, use it as best as you can and let the universe do the rest. At least, when it goes in different side as your expectation, at least you have tried on it. But, remember one thing, there’s always consequences behind each choice, make sure you’ll be responsible on it and take it as a package. And be ready that you might fight against your society. I believe they won’t make it easy for you but I’m sure God Almighty will appreciate it. Keep it in your mind, life is not only about love what you do, above at all it’s about do what you love,”

So, if I were on their situation, I’ll do something to change it, instead of keep mumbling which I know it won’t solve anything. On the first case, I will not waiting till my boss fired me. Instead, I’ll give him my resignation letter. I’ll enjoy my free time, go somewhere for a while at least for a month then start thinking what will I do next for my living. I am sure this month off will bring me on balance life.

While on the second case, I’ll strongly talk to my mom to postponed it, telling her that I will pray for her safe and ask her to keep think positive that God Almighty will taking care of her during her hajj. Yet, I will tell her the truth that I’m not into marriage yet. If, I push myself on it, I am afraid that I might mess it up; I might hurt someone who not deserves it. Above at all, I will convince her that it might hurt me also which I’m sure she won’t see it. I’ll tell her that I’m sure she wants me happy but by doing this arranges marry she might found me as unhappy person for the rest of my life.

I know it won’t be easy but I always believe that everything is possible, as my grandpa told me. All we need just keep our faith that there’s always way out for everything. All we need just do our best and let God Almighty do the rest. Who knows He might give us another surprises which will enrich our life.

So, Happy choosing and fight for your life, pals!

* thanks to my grandpa who always inspiring me with his way and his thought! and thanks to God Almighty for sure, to give me strength so far to be “different”, to let me choose what suitable for me but then–at the end–He just gave me what the best for me. Even somehow it was totally different with what I want but again, my grandpa was right, at least I had try on it so I never regret each step that I took. Yet, I found that it’s now on became my huge leap and enrich my life as well.

PS: Again, you might found this note in another blog site.. I published it in another blog site on April 10, 2014

pandora box: happiness and sadness inside

“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once” – Paulo Coelho

Life is like a Pandora box, it’s full of surprises…you never know what you get, till it comes to you in sudden. Somehow you’ll get lotta miracles, but at the same time you might also get all the misery. You can feel so happy in a day but by the next day your life turn into disaster, deeply sadness or so. No wonder then people start thinking that life is roller coaster.. Happiness and sadness could come anytime, no matter whether we are ready or not to facing it.

I been there, many times!

Somehow I just found that myself is such of the luckiest person in the world; good job, great salary, opportunity to traveling a lot, surrounding by lovely betsies, parents who always support me in any ways, siblings who always gimme lotta love, a lovely BF (at that time). But then, seems like God Almighty has His own plan for me... bad things coming one by one..and my life turn into sadness... seems like misery is become my middle name.

Yet, I start thinking that God Almighty just play unfair to me. I start complain, keep questioning Him with my dozens why while at the same time, I keep asking Him for a miracle; begging Him to bring it back things that He took for me..

and His answer still NO!!

but what surprise me then, even He said NO..but then He gave me another things in return...better than what He took from me, and somehow He just make it double, and yeah, it happen so many times in my life journey!

what a life!

somehow, I just questioning myself.. Why God Almighty do that things on me? what He want  from me? why He took something that I love (which I am pretty much sure that He knows about it) and (somehow) by couple years He give me another things, quite similar with the first one but much more better? 

Once I asked it to my grandpa, He start telling me to take happiness and sadness as a package and both of it has its meaning.

"You have to always keep in your mind that happiness is not always that you've a blessing life. And once you got a sadness, it doesn't mean that God Almighty got mad on you. It depends on your point of view, and most likely, each of it has a lesson learn for you. All you need is keep yourself to digging the meaning while try to not deeply involve on your happiness or sadness. Just keep yourself in harmony, keep the balances. If you have to feel the sadness, feel it! do not escape from it or even blame others. There's won't be a rainbow if there's no rain. Yet, if you find your life is full of happiness, surrounding by lovely people..just try to not over excited. Somehow, God Almighty test us through happiness. But most of us tend to think that happiness is equal will blessing. Well, in some way, it might be true..but in another way, it might be wrong. But no one think about it.  Who knows He wanna test, wanna know whether you still put Him on your top list or you just start to replace Him with things or person which make you feel those happiness. But, since He love you, He didn't want to make it hard for you, so that's why He send lotta happiness and lovely people in your path... Trust me, He always love us, He just use different way for each person,"  

And as always, my grandpa is right.

There's no point to complain to God Almighty on what happened to me. Somehow, things that we think good for us is not really good for our future, who knows it may hurt us. and things we thought that it wasn't good at all for us, who never know that it might bring us to our victory, our long last happiness.

However, all I need to do is change my point of view. I have to start thinking (and believe) that everything He did to me, it because He love me.. that He wanna make me happy, no matter how ungrateful I am.

He never ask me a return for each joy, happiness or successful that I have. Instead, I keep asking Him more and more... what a shame!

So, why don't I change the "circle"? Instead of keep asking, I think it would be a good step to start saying "thanks God for every single thing that You gave to me; happiness and sadness, getting something or losing something"

Who knows it will help me to see the brightness from each situation, even the worst one!!

Happy Tuesday!!
and be ready with what your Pandora box bring to you ;)