Finding L

There was a gorgeous man, standing in front of a mosque, while his eyes stared at the small building, opposite the mosque. No one knew what he stared at, only he and God Almighty who knew exactly what he looked for; the charming girl who worked for the public clinic, owned by the mosque.

That man went to that mosque almost everyday, but he never realized that she did exist. He realized it just because in few days back one of his friend got injury once they on their back home. There's no other place than the small clinic opposite the mosque. So then, he brought his friend to that clinic to got a treatment and medicine.

and by any chance, he met that girl who then treat his friend. Since then, things changed!

He always spent couple minutes standing in front of the mosque, stared at that building. Every time he spent his time in his favorite spot, he always wondered whether he can saw her or not. It took about two months and so, till he finally got his brave to came to her and introduce himself to her. And it took less than a month once he finally proposed that girl and they married less than a month after then.


It's been 33 years for they both as a couple, it wasn't easy..there's up and down during their days.., but they still survive till now on...

"It because we love each other. No matter how many beautiful-attractive women out there, but for me, still, she's the best that I have.You might wonder, how can I be sure that she's the one for me? how can I was sure that I can spent my whole life time with her. It's fact that I knew her less than a year but what can I say? There's no further explanation, I even can't explain to you but I'm sure about one thing. Once I saw her at the first time, I knew she's the one that i'm looking for. Sometimes, all you need is just listen to your heart. It wont lie to you. But you have to make sure that what you heard is what your heart said not your lust. Somehow, you'll found that it'll challenge you. You might get confuse whether is it your heart or your lust. So, listen carefully," He gave me advice, during our tea-time, few years back when I went back home after my long period-nomadic life.


"How about if my heart said that he's the one but at the end things went in different way as I thought, as I planned?"

"I am sure it wasn't your heart's fault. Sometimes, in our live, things didn't work ask we wish. But it didn't mean that you fool yourself. Somehow, it happened because God Almighty wanna save you for being fool, He wanna stop you before you ruined your life. You might facing this situation someday, You thought that you finally found the one that you looking for, the man with whom you'll spent your life. But then, at the end, you both found that things didn't work as you planned. You both have to cross different path, not as a couple. It might broke your heart, you might feel the pain, you might  start thinking that your live is suck. But again, you have to keep it in your mind that there's always two possibilities. First of all, you might went through wrong path. Instead of listen carefully what your heart said, you started following your lust. The second one is, you both might meant to each other but God Almighty might have different point of view. Who knows if you both go through this path,there's lot of things that you both can't deal with in the future. Marry isn't about spend your life with someone in 1-2 months. You'll spend your whole life. Isn't not about love, but it also about commitment, respect, and trust. Again, your heart will never lie to you. It'll show you which man who not only love you but also has a commitment, respect, and honest to you till the end of his life. Be patient, your time will coming, no need to rush. Everyone has their own time. Enjoy your time and be happy as well,"

Yes, that's my dad!! he always knew how to pleased me..., he and my mom for sure! while other parents push their daughter to get marry as soon as possible, my parents never get rush. Instead, they always encourage me to pursue my dream, following my path as well but still, I have to pay attention for any possibilities to find my right one.


"Getting marry isn't such of competition! you don't need to compete with anyone else, not your sibling nor your best friends. Once they got married and you still single, it doesn't meant that you're not worth enough. Instead, start thinking that you're such of lucky. God Almighty give you extra time to have your "me-time", to do something for humanity, to reach your dream, to expand your capacity, to enjoy your life, to be happy with the way you are. And when your turn coming, I am sure that guy would be the luckiest man in the world. Having you, a happy go lucky girl as his partner in life. What he could ask more?" she told me silently, every time people came around and ask me, "when will You marry?"

Yes, they both are my parents, my guardian angels. The ones who always told me that finding L is such of treasure. We never know what will we get, yet there's always lotta possibilities. Lotta surprises; lotta happiness and sadness in the same time.

"Just don't ever take someone for granted! you never know what the universe will bring to you. Who knows one of them is your L, your Love, the truly one," she continued.

Happy Anniversary, Mommy & Daddy..
Wish you both have a lovely live ahead
Love you both as always

JOURNEY WITH PASSION

“I take the risk because I want to know what life is look like. No matter how hurt it is now. I know that at the end I will never curious again. I pay with soul and pride to get these experiences.”

Friends of mine often wondered why I always move to one place to another place within my country. Some of them thought that I have difficulties to stay more than 1 year, other thought that I run from something. Did I? Yet, they wonder how long I will stick on this situation, move here and there, being stranger in new place, new city, or even new province every year. The craziest is, my friends even start to bet on which city I’ll spend my next year *geezz*

. So, If I’m not running from something, then why?JI have some reasons why I keep moving, and I’m sure that running from something is not in my list and I’m pretty sure about that

First of all, it’s about following the path that universe bring to me. Yeah, for me, travelling or being “nomadic” isn’t about show off to others nor lifestyle, not at all! I never made any plans on it, not even in which city I’d move every year. It just came in sudden, but I believe that it has correlation with my vision board. Yeah, I have it! I pinned lotta pictures on it, mostly about interesting place that I wanna explore. I saw it day by day and wondering when my turn will come and what can I do in those places. And voila, seems like the universe heard it and conspired to make it real for me. God always has reason why me and why those cities, but after all I believe that He wanna enrich my life through these journeys.

My second reasons, both travelling and nomadic helped me to find and to recognize the real me; my strength, my weakness, my good and bad things. It also embraced me to honor my inner circle, my beloved family and best friends more and more. It well known that living in a new place and meet new people with different cultures and behavior, every year, isn’t easy to deal. Somehow it could lead me to “blue feeling”, feel sad and lonely which made me missed my family and my betsie, badly. It make me realized how valuable they ar. Yes, distance will make you aware about “things” that you have. All I can say, it never been easy, it always be tough situations, but then I found that it help me to grown up; made me become more adaptable and brave enough for any challenges, I learnt how to deal with my fearness and anxiety, and it also help me to build another circle in life-new friends, new “family”. Furthermore, by doing these journey, I have a chance to do something for my people, my community. It was my grandpa who always told me, “Do not leave any footprints unless a kindness”.

The third is because I truly enjoy it. Travelling helped me to broaden my mind which I’m sure I won’t get it if I stayed in my hometown for the rest of my life. Also, it was an effective way to refresh your mind, help our mind to grab lotta ideas and increasing our creativity. Wops, no offence pals.. I don’t mean to say that person who never leave their hometown is kinda narrow-minded nor uncreative, sure it’s not a guarantee, but so far–according to my experiences–that was I often see (well, sorry to say).

Lastly, travelling isn’t about spending our money for none, but it’s about to enrich ourself. Once we take our first step, we’ll find that we can’t stop… We’ll keep looking another destination and wondering when and how we could be there… So, Happy Travelling, pals… and find your own lesson-life

*written while determine my next destination* ;)

PS: again, you might found this post in another blog site. Yes! i did post it previously, in other blog post, on March 7, 2014

(it’s all) about choosing and choices

One of my good friends, asked me question, few days back.. He live in Japan, work for automotive industry for about 7 years plus plus.

“Have you ever felt so tired with things that you do in your daily life? Feel that your life is kinda bored, you not really into your job, that its not belong to you? That every time you involve on it at the end you just found yourself so tired and feels empty. Have you ever felt that once in your life time?”

Later, he told me that he’s suffering due to that condition. It seems like his job took his time that much; he no longer has enough time for his family. Yet, he also found that every time he woke up in the morning, he always felt sick but it was gone once he done with his office hours, which I exactly knows that condition as one of psychosomatic symptoms.

Unfortunately, things went worst for him since his boss is always around. Whenever he is, his boss is always call him, give him this and that things to do. And yeah, he starts thinking that his life is totally suck!

It surprised me!

I remembered how proud he was once he got that opportunity. How sure he was once he decided to flew away, a hundred miles, move from Indonesia to Japan which he sure it will make his life better than ever!

Then, where has all those pleasure and pride gone?

It made me come to think about the purpose of work, why people choose to do such of job if at the end it just make them stressful, their life become so suck, yet they suffering on fatigue almost every day? Isn’t working should be fun? We doing something that we love and love what we do?

Once I told him about it, he responds it quickly,

“It is not that simply as you thought! I know that you kind of person who never stays in one job over than a year, okay, one and half years is your record so far. You might feel that it’s challenge you and so, but for me, resign from this job and look for another one is kinda a big leap which I am not sure that I can make it. If, I can make it at the end, I need at least more than 3 months to find the new one which appropriate for me,”

Hmmm… what can I say then? He starts make his boundaries even he’s not start it yet, what a shame…

Another case came from my very best friend, it’s not about working things but it’s about things that I’m sure will be his turning point, at that time.

It happened 2 years ago, when he asked me out to hang around for a whole day. It bit surprised me at that time, since it’s pretty hard for us to meet up since we both busy on our things. I was curious but since he didn’t say anything which indicated that he’s on trouble or so, then I started thinking that he was okay and just need me—his “partner in crime”—to be around.

Things goes well for a whole day, we enjoyed our time did some stupid things. But then, things changed once we ready to went back home. Instead of drove me home, he brought me to the famous hill in that town. And voila, he start told me that his going on arrange marry. What a surprise!

I knew that he’s not into marriage issue yet. Even he told me previously that he might start thinking about it 2 or 3 years later. His life was totally about his career, none else. But then, things happen quickly and he can’t do anything to change it. His daddy got stroke attack whilst his on business meeting, unfortunately, at that month his mom is prepared to perform hajj. Yet, since he’s the only child in his family, his mom begging him to get marry immediately. She asked him to do it before she went for hajj. What a life!

I asked him why he didn’t tell his mom to postpone it and let him stick on his plan. Unfortunately, he said, his mom is kinda afraid that something might happen to her while she performed hajj. Yet, she convinced him that she will regret it most if she passed away (as she assumed God Almighty might took her life while she performed hajj) and she didn’t saw him marry before it. Sigh!

So, there he goes. Less than a month, he no longer a gorgeous bachelor! His mom found someone to be his bride. I called him in the morning, on his wedding day. I expected that I will hear his happy voice. In fact, I heard the stupid thing ever from him side,

“I’m not sure about this marriage. I have no feeling on her; I am not a hundred percent sure it will work for me. If I have chance to change it, I prefer to do that but unfortunately I haven’t. I love my mom more than anything, so I’ll take it as my sacrificed for her,”

Geez!!

It was my grandpa who told me that everyone has their own free will to decide what is best for themselves.

“It’s right that God Almighty had set our destiny once we born, but still it doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything to change it. Life is about choosing, God Almighty always give us a choices, it depends on us then, which way we will take. Do we will surrender or will we fight for it till the end? He give us opportunity to fight for our self, He even promise us that He will change one situation if only we dare to challenge our self to facing it and fight for it with all we have. I call it as free will. You have it also in yourself, use it as best as you can and let the universe do the rest. At least, when it goes in different side as your expectation, at least you have tried on it. But, remember one thing, there’s always consequences behind each choice, make sure you’ll be responsible on it and take it as a package. And be ready that you might fight against your society. I believe they won’t make it easy for you but I’m sure God Almighty will appreciate it. Keep it in your mind, life is not only about love what you do, above at all it’s about do what you love,”

So, if I were on their situation, I’ll do something to change it, instead of keep mumbling which I know it won’t solve anything. On the first case, I will not waiting till my boss fired me. Instead, I’ll give him my resignation letter. I’ll enjoy my free time, go somewhere for a while at least for a month then start thinking what will I do next for my living. I am sure this month off will bring me on balance life.

While on the second case, I’ll strongly talk to my mom to postponed it, telling her that I will pray for her safe and ask her to keep think positive that God Almighty will taking care of her during her hajj. Yet, I will tell her the truth that I’m not into marriage yet. If, I push myself on it, I am afraid that I might mess it up; I might hurt someone who not deserves it. Above at all, I will convince her that it might hurt me also which I’m sure she won’t see it. I’ll tell her that I’m sure she wants me happy but by doing this arranges marry she might found me as unhappy person for the rest of my life.

I know it won’t be easy but I always believe that everything is possible, as my grandpa told me. All we need just keep our faith that there’s always way out for everything. All we need just do our best and let God Almighty do the rest. Who knows He might give us another surprises which will enrich our life.

So, Happy choosing and fight for your life, pals!

* thanks to my grandpa who always inspiring me with his way and his thought! and thanks to God Almighty for sure, to give me strength so far to be “different”, to let me choose what suitable for me but then–at the end–He just gave me what the best for me. Even somehow it was totally different with what I want but again, my grandpa was right, at least I had try on it so I never regret each step that I took. Yet, I found that it’s now on became my huge leap and enrich my life as well.

PS: Again, you might found this note in another blog site.. I published it in another blog site on April 10, 2014

pandora box: happiness and sadness inside

“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once” – Paulo Coelho

Life is like a Pandora box, it’s full of surprises…you never know what you get, till it comes to you in sudden. Somehow you’ll get lotta miracles, but at the same time you might also get all the misery. You can feel so happy in a day but by the next day your life turn into disaster, deeply sadness or so. No wonder then people start thinking that life is roller coaster.. Happiness and sadness could come anytime, no matter whether we are ready or not to facing it.

I been there, many times!

Somehow I just found that myself is such of the luckiest person in the world; good job, great salary, opportunity to traveling a lot, surrounding by lovely betsies, parents who always support me in any ways, siblings who always gimme lotta love, a lovely BF (at that time). But then, seems like God Almighty has His own plan for me... bad things coming one by one..and my life turn into sadness... seems like misery is become my middle name.

Yet, I start thinking that God Almighty just play unfair to me. I start complain, keep questioning Him with my dozens why while at the same time, I keep asking Him for a miracle; begging Him to bring it back things that He took for me..

and His answer still NO!!

but what surprise me then, even He said NO..but then He gave me another things in return...better than what He took from me, and somehow He just make it double, and yeah, it happen so many times in my life journey!

what a life!

somehow, I just questioning myself.. Why God Almighty do that things on me? what He want  from me? why He took something that I love (which I am pretty much sure that He knows about it) and (somehow) by couple years He give me another things, quite similar with the first one but much more better? 

Once I asked it to my grandpa, He start telling me to take happiness and sadness as a package and both of it has its meaning.

"You have to always keep in your mind that happiness is not always that you've a blessing life. And once you got a sadness, it doesn't mean that God Almighty got mad on you. It depends on your point of view, and most likely, each of it has a lesson learn for you. All you need is keep yourself to digging the meaning while try to not deeply involve on your happiness or sadness. Just keep yourself in harmony, keep the balances. If you have to feel the sadness, feel it! do not escape from it or even blame others. There's won't be a rainbow if there's no rain. Yet, if you find your life is full of happiness, surrounding by lovely people..just try to not over excited. Somehow, God Almighty test us through happiness. But most of us tend to think that happiness is equal will blessing. Well, in some way, it might be true..but in another way, it might be wrong. But no one think about it.  Who knows He wanna test, wanna know whether you still put Him on your top list or you just start to replace Him with things or person which make you feel those happiness. But, since He love you, He didn't want to make it hard for you, so that's why He send lotta happiness and lovely people in your path... Trust me, He always love us, He just use different way for each person,"  

And as always, my grandpa is right.

There's no point to complain to God Almighty on what happened to me. Somehow, things that we think good for us is not really good for our future, who knows it may hurt us. and things we thought that it wasn't good at all for us, who never know that it might bring us to our victory, our long last happiness.

However, all I need to do is change my point of view. I have to start thinking (and believe) that everything He did to me, it because He love me.. that He wanna make me happy, no matter how ungrateful I am.

He never ask me a return for each joy, happiness or successful that I have. Instead, I keep asking Him more and more... what a shame!

So, why don't I change the "circle"? Instead of keep asking, I think it would be a good step to start saying "thanks God for every single thing that You gave to me; happiness and sadness, getting something or losing something"

Who knows it will help me to see the brightness from each situation, even the worst one!!

Happy Tuesday!!
and be ready with what your Pandora box bring to you ;)

DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMY

“We think we are afraid of something outside ourselves, but what we are afraid is really inside ourselves.”

What will cross in your mind once someone ask you to describe what enemy means to you? well, let me guess, you’ll start mentioning someone who you think he/she hate you most or someone who you think tend to bring dozens difficulties, a troublemaker that you believe ruins your life.. am I right?

Besides, I am pretty much sure that you wont ever mention yourself; your fear, your anxiety as the source of the problem itself. We tend to put others on our top list as someone who should responsible on our unfortunate life. We even forget that life just give us two sided, good things and bad things even friends and enemies. Unfortunately, most of us easily jump into conclusion that someone who has different perspective from us is our enemies instead of talk to ourselves, why it bothering us? 

To be honest, your enemy is not others who surrounding you. Your enemy is you, yourself; your thought, your fear and your anxiety. Once you let one of those things grow within yourself, I have no doubt then you will start becoming a paranoid. You will see that people are not respect you and you start thinking that they will joking at you if they find that you are not that perfect as they thought. You start blaming your environment and it become harder for you to trust others even they really want to be your friends instead of your enemies.

Moreover, You’ll found that you live in hell;  you start thinking that no one care about you and seems that everyone happy if you get torture. In fact, mostly it happen not because they really hurt you, but it happen because you let it happen to you.

so, instead of blaming and fighting others for things that the might did not do, why don’t you start make a deal with your truly enemy, YOURSELF!your thought, your anxiety? ask yourself, what makes you feel anxiety? it must has reason and to find the answer, all you need is to be honest to yourself.

I promise you one thing, once you find it and let yourself deal with it.. I am sure that you wont live in hell.., yet, you’ll find that everyone  loves you..

C’est la vie!!

ps:

again, this article such of re-post. Previously, I posted this article on another blog site at January 17, 2014. So, don't be surprised if you find this article on different blog site :)

LET THE WORDS HEAL YOUR SOUL

Why are you writing? to impress someone that you admire most? Because you have to write something to your boss? Because you wanna be a famous writer? Because everyone is writing and it seems cool to be one of them? Well, I believe that we might have different reasons why we’re writing. For me, I’m writing not only because my job require me to write regularly nor because most of my best friends are writers but it because I believe that writing could help me heal my my soul. Yeah, I know you might start thinking that I’m kinda weird but let me tell you my secret; writing is kinda affordable-inexpensive cure for my pain. Still no sense, uh? Believe me or not but so far it works for me!

I started writing since I was in elementary and I love it most till now. I wrote about any single thing that happened to me; things that I saw but somehow people didn't pay any attention on it. For some people, it might kinda useless but I found it’s fun. I can write anything; good and bad things, my cynical thoughts, craziest ideas and even to criticize myself. However, writing then became my positive way to escape from “the reality”. Somehow I found that reality and fantasy become blur every time I start writing, seems like both are in the same line and yeah, I became trance sometimes! I tend to be a free-totally honest to myself; I stop pretend that I was okay once I wasn't, stop act that I strong enough but deeply inside I was in kinda fragile-heart situation and to be honest, it help me to deal with my awkward moments easily yet release my anxiety.

Moreover, every time I facing similar situation, I found that I re-read what I wrote in previous time, it always help me to feel better; I always get more clear thinking about the situation that I’m facing on and stop blaming others. Besides, it help me to grow up, being a wise (wo)man day by day. But the most important, I always realize that once I start writing, it always difficult for me to stop even I have to ;)

Anyway, since it’s been quite long for a note.. let me tell you something before I end this note up.. when you start writing just stop thinking whether you make a good piece or the opposite.., stop worrying about what will people think about your note and the most important.. just be honest to yourself; write every single thing that cross in your mind and be you! Use your own style, no need to copycat other’s style and yeah.. you’ll find that your words will heal your soul.. trust me ;)

ps:

you might find this post in another blog site, yes..to be truth, I just re-post what i wrote in another blog site...I was post it on January 26, 2014 but I hope it still relevant for nowadays.. :)

being educate: teach other and keep learning

May 2..
there's nothing special in my day so far, until one of my very best friend sent me a text..
We know each other since we were in junior high school.., for most our teachers we both are such of "partner in crime", they said we such clever's student but also rebels at the same time.

"Happy education day, dear my beloved teacher..wish you all very best in every single things, keep inspiring, keep learning, keep educate yourself and others..,"

it takes time for me to get his point. Me? his teacher? in which area? in fact, I never tought him anything..well.., as long as remembered.

lead by my curiosity, I replied him..
"Hey dude.., you kidding me or what?? I never tought you anything..i'm not a teacher yet not that old,"

what I got from him as a reply was totally made me speechless...

"In real, you might found that you never tought me anything, but during our 10 years friendship and so, I learnt a lot from you. Others may said that you silly yet crazy, but for me, you are genuine! you tought me how to be honest to myself, how to be brave to deal with my "real" enemy; my fearness, my anxiety, insecure feeling, well yeaah..you name it! you helped me to know myself better and among other reasons, you inspire me to keep going once things didn't work as good as I expected. You know how to deal with your pain once others knock you down. I never know how it should be fix, but during our friendship, you showed me how to deal with those issues..so yeah, you're my teacher..a life-teacher, my inspiration..so keep inspire me.., just be you, be crazy and silly as always,"

May 2

as Indonesian, since I were in elementary school, I always celebrate this day as education day. It was Ki Hajar Dewantoro, a man who inspired us about how important education is and how teachers should teach their student. They should be a role model which could inspire and encourage their students to reach their dream.

But it wasn't Ki Hajar Dewantoro who inspired my life. It was my grandpa, the man who never finished his study but generously tought me about life.  He's not teacher yet he's not that popular as Ki Hajar Dewantoro but still, as long as I know, he inspire a lot of people, not only our neighborhood but each person that he met.

My grandpa is such of introvert person, outspoken isn't his type. Rather to speak in a massive audience, he prefer to have personal discussion. I learnt a lot from him. Somehow, it just happened in sudden, I never realize that he tought me something until I was on such of situation which then lead me to his advices.

It was him who told me that, no matter what I do in my life, I have to keep it my mind that life is not about how to earn a lot of money or have a great job, a great career and so, but it's about being useful. As long as I know, my grandpa wasn't graduate from his school, but I am sure that he learnt a lot from his life journey. I always remember, every time I got upset, he always told me that there's no point to blame others for that situation, instead, I have to learn to see the situation with different perspective, so then I could learn something and make my life better.

"You know what? the very best job in the world is being a teacher," he told me a years ago, once we have our "tea-time"

"Somehow it is not well-paid but by having this job, you not only spread your knowledge but you also learnt something from your students. And being a teacher for kindergarten or elementary school is the best one. Okay, you might argue me. Yes, I know you'll start saying that those children are annoying, but you know what, you'll learn a lot from them. They're genuine, curious, and have free-spirit. You have to try it someday, then you'll find how lively your life,"

"Then how about if I'm not interest to be a teacher, grandpa?" I replied him

"No worries, just keep your eye on them and learn something, then you'll get my point"

and he's right...
I keep myself free from fearness and anxiety, yet keep my curiosity and my free-spirit...stop thinking that i'm better than others, instead, as my grandpa said..i'm struggling to keep my self humble..which for my best friend its such the way I tought him...but for sure, it never crossed in my mind that it'll influenced my very best friend's life..

Happy leaning, keep learn and educate yourself, pals

ps:
It's not easy to start writing after years off...but I have to...
It help me to realize that i'm not such of perfect person.., I made a mistake but I know that I have to improve my self day by day..
so, here we go...
I posted it as my very first challenge..